The Scared DadA Journey of a First Time Father

Mar 20th Can I Get a Round of Applause for Pregnant Boobs…

I mean… HELLO!

Not to sound all Bohemian and hippie-ish, but I’m one of those guys who think the pregnant body is one of the most beautiful things on a woman.

My wife is sexy.  But my wife, who is carrying my son, is super sexy.

There’s a two-part reason behind my thoughts of how I view the pregnant woman.  The first is that I think the miracle of birth is something so astronomically awesome, that every time I take a minute to think about what’s going on inside my wife, this complete wave of a nostalgia overcomes me, and I start to think about how scientifically amazing the development of a little human is.

But I’m a thinker.

The guy writing this is also fascinated that an 800,000 pound metal object holding 300 people can stay in the air and take me from California to Korea in a matter of hours, and that the movies and TV shows about CIA spies seem like entertainment to us, but is actually somebody’s real life…

That’s who’s writing this post.

Why I mention how easily fascinated I am by seemingly explainable stuff is that if you’ve studied child development at all, then you understand that the forces of nature that have semen doing their natural thing of swimming “upstream,” racing and to meet the egg… then fighting for dibs to get inside to chillax for the next 9 months, is beyond amazing to me.  For those nine months, this merperson lives in fluid, like it has gills or something… forms hands, feet, brain cells…. a personality….  I mean my son reached out to caress my face at the sound of my voice during our last ultrasound.  THERE IS A LIVING PERSON INSIDE OF MY WIFE.

That’s all too much to take in. It literally is amazing.

The second and most awesomer way that pregnancy is amazing is the way a woman’s body changes to accommodate the baby. The boobs get bigger and fuller, the belly takes on this perfectly round shape, shirts look a little cuter since the belly has taken them over, boobs are huge, there is a little mother’s instinctive look of confident swag that shows up on the face of the soon to be mom… and in my case my wife still likes to dress sexy.  Not pregnant lingerie sexy…  but she’ll wear form fitting dresses and heels (not so much on the heels still, but really cute flats).

Oh… and she has preggo boobs.

I love touching the belly.  I think that’s the sexiest part.  It’s awkward to hug from the front though because of the protruding child taking up hug space, but nevertheless all in all I can say that as much as I’m attracted to my wife without a baby bump, pregnancy looks damn good on her too.

Unfortunately, Paps doesn’t seem to think so.  She has not really enjoyed her pregnancy appearance, and that bothers me. She’s compared her pregnancy to other women’s, and she starts to feel “blah” about herself. Clothes are different for her cause she’s tall with a Nicki Minaj booty, so the common stores for maternity make her anxious and depressed.  The things she has ordered online have been very complimentary to her round-bellied figure, but I wish that there was something more that I can do to help with the pregnancy blues…

But there isn’t.  And the most I can do is tell her how much of a sexy preggo she is… and that her boobs are awesome.

Boobs.

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