I Can’t Trust My Friends

I don’t trust my friends And in fairness, they shouldn’t trust me either. Now, before I start pissing people off, I actually trust my friends with my life… and because I trust them with my life, it’s with them that I’ve experienced some really wild stories that only we would understand, and that’s where this all turns sour. My friends know absolutely everything that I’ve done, things that I want nobody in the world to know. There are way too many stories that make sense to us, and are hilarious… TO US… that other people just don’t find funny. Hell… While thinking about the things we’ve done, I’m like “what the fuck were we thinking?” Mostly… “what the fuck was I thinking…” and I’m sure my friends can attest to that. So, why is it that I make this statement of not being able to trust my friends? Well let me put it this way… My friends are awesome.  We are pretty much family.  We fight, we laugh, we camp, we care… we’re family.  This last weekend they decided to all get together and throw me a baby shower the man’s way. BBQ, beer, and poker with money–not diapers. But what’s special about this is that we don’t all get together like this often anymore, because we all have our own lives now. Most are parents, some of multiple kids, some of us are still students, some are full-time dads, and everyone has full-time responsibilities whether it makes them money Continue Reading →


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Technology… More Like Tech-NO-logy

Recently, I started thinking if Paps and I would be doing our children a disservice by not allowing them to get use to using electronics.  Like, would it make them the equivalent of someone who is an illiterate adult once they get to college?  And I’m not just talking, using Word or Excel…Paint– I’m talking technology; X-box, Playstation, Wii-U, tablets, smartphones, Google Glass, Twitter, Tumblr,  FB (or whatever comes out by the time they’re able to grasp the concept of social media). *Note* I’m so disheveled by this topic, it may be hard for me to keep focus More and more do I become more conflicted with the issue of technology and children. I am a technician by trade. I L-O-V-E tech stuff. I love gidgets, gadgets, thingamabobs, new internet stuff, apps, media sources, social sites, new gaming devices, warfare items, space stuff… whatever it is, I’m interested and I want to play with it.  That had to start somewhere… and it did.  It started while I was in the 3rd grade when we had these old Apple Macintosh SE Desktop Computers that had 2 colors on them, green and greener, on a screen relative to the size of cell phones now…  I took an after school class to learn DOS manipulation.  However, the functions that a 9-year-old could do at that time were very elementary.  Shit, personal computers were a practically brand new technology, and I know I’m showing my age but that’s what it was. But I loved that stuff because Continue Reading →


Posted in Did He Really Just Say That?, Getting Ready, Parenthoodwith 15 comments.

What I Learned at Lamaze Class Today

So I’ve been pretty on the ball as the responsible daddy as far as making sure I’m reading all the books, blogs, journals, magazine articles, and whatever else I come across in order to better prepare myself, and better prepare my wife and this household for the baby’s arrival. I’ve been pretty much on the wife about scheduling classes for us to attend to and making sure we take photos and other pre-baby necessities and things parents in the movies and tv do. The reason I’m asking her to search all this stuff out to do instead of just pulling the trigger myself is cause I don’t want to pick something she’s not comfortable with. Knowing my luck I’d pick a breastfeeding class offered on Groupon or Living Social given by a hairy Dungeons and Dragons Warlord given in a Taco Bell bathroom. Then I’d say something like “Babe… it must be legit, or else it wouldn’t be available on Groupon… we paid for it let’s just ride it out.” So the first class we ever took was in fact a breastfeeding class. Now, I understand that the father of 1958 wouldn’t have attended these classes with their wives, but I feel like I need to know just as much as she does, and I want to be there for the support. We walked into this house converted into a school for milking, and were naturally the first ones there. Enya –Sail Away starts playing ever so softly in the Continue Reading →


Posted in Getting Ready, Those Odd moments...with 4 comments.

Can I Get a Round of Applause for Pregnant Boobs…

I mean… HELLO! Not to sound all Bohemian and hippie-ish, but I’m one of those guys who think the pregnant body is one of the most beautiful things on a woman. My wife is sexy.  But my wife, who is carrying my son, is super sexy. There’s a two-part reason behind my thoughts of how I view the pregnant woman.  The first is that I think the miracle of birth is something so astronomically awesome, that every time I take a minute to think about what’s going on inside my wife, this complete wave of a nostalgia overcomes me, and I start to think about how scientifically amazing the development of a little human is. But I’m a thinker. The guy writing this is also fascinated that an 800,000 pound metal object holding 300 people can stay in the air and take me from California to Korea in a matter of hours, and that the movies and TV shows about CIA spies seem like entertainment to us, but is actually somebody’s real life… That’s who’s writing this post. Why I mention how easily fascinated I am by seemingly explainable stuff is that if you’ve studied child development at all, then you understand that the forces of nature that have semen doing their natural thing of swimming “upstream,” racing and to meet the egg… then fighting for dibs to get inside to chillax for the next 9 months, is beyond amazing to me.  For those nine months, this merperson lives in fluid, like Continue Reading →


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Child Care-less

Dear America, Why do you hate parents? Respectfully, Robert So I’ve mentioned before that I travel for work. I get to see all the glorious places that most will only see in post cards, and I get to eat all the glorious food that you only see on Food Network. I get to experience traditions and customs that you only see on the travel channel, but there is one thing I will never get to experience… Other countries’ benefits. That’s right Americans, we may be home of the free and proud and stuff, but we are definitely paying a price for that. And please don’t get me wrong… I didn’t serve 10 years in the Marine Corps so I could bash on the good ol’ U S of A in a blog post. This is specifically about child care. Once I found out about my wife being pregnant, I immediately started asking all the relevant questions… specifically those that pertain to work… 1) How does the insurance cover this birth? 2) If my wife has her own insurance, whose gets used for the hospital care? 3) Which insurance would the baby fall under? 4) Will I need paperwork from the job site in order to start the process? but most importantly, 5) How does the paternity leave work? (that link goes to a more credible source aka Huffington Post, if you don’t want to take my word for it) So here’s a real quick breakdown. What you need to understand Continue Reading →


Posted in Did He Really Just Say That?, Dissapointment, Fear, Getting Ready, Parenthood, Those Odd moments...with 32 comments.

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