Just this morning I came across a blog post about a woman who was arrested for letting her 9-year old play unsupervised at the park… a public park. The charge was “unlawful conduct towards a child,” and really all the facts surrounding it are not really needed to be said such as the mother’s color, job, social class… however, in the articles, all of that is mentioned.
What is important is this… an adult approached this 9-year old child, asked where her mother is, found out her mother was at work, and then deemed it appropriate to call the police resulting in the end result of her child be taken into custody into the department of social services.
I am a father of just 2-months now. I have no extensive background on the whole picture of parenting. I don’t claim to be an expert when it comes to raising children. In fact I bite my tongue often when I think that “someone’s doing it wrong,” because it’s not my place to say anything… unless that child is in eminent danger. But you know what I am… a human being.
That’s right. I’m a 32-year-old human being. I was a child once. I learned to ride bikes, and was aloud a ride bike down the street and in our cul-de-sac unsupervised. Then I met up friends, and we climbed trees, and went to the park. I had a skateboard, which I rode by myself to a friend’s house… or just to get an ice cream cone from Thrifty’s, maybe to a comic book store. Or maybe I’d take my basketball to the court… by myself. I hung out late, and went to the creek, and to the store, and to a movie… sometimes that all happened, by myself.
But so did a lot of us. Have we forgotten?
There was a time where parents were able to parent their kids and allow them to do what they thought was best for their child without you butting your nose in their business… as long as that child wasn’t in eminent danger. There was a time you could tell your child “no,” or swat their bottom, without another person screaming “child abuse.” There was a time that parents weren’t afraid to parent their child, but that time has gone.
In this world we have taken away so much, even though we claim we’ve given it all. We may have freedoms of press, and speech, but the freedom to parent is slowly dissipating. When a woman who feels that her daughter is responsible enough to go to the park, allows her daughter to go to the park to play… and in this case, with a cell phone in case of emergency, where do you as a parent feel the need to step in and play super hero to have her daughter taken away?
I’m studying to be a school counselor right now, and I’ve thought about what I want my platform for my career to be once I start. I’m sure I’ve settled on one, because I think this is near and dear to my heart…
It Takes a Village.
Remember that old saying? It takes a village…? Back in the day when people lived in huts, and clay cabins, they depended on each other to help keep the kids in line. To help make sure all the kids were fed, and bathed. Some women taught the kids how to make clothes, and some taught them how to cook. The men taught them to build and fight as well as farm and hunt. The village took care of its own and was the sole responsible party in whether or not that village would survive. Well that still holds true to this day. It takes a village to protect the village. It takes a village to raise and protect the children. It takes a village to help build the community, and teach our children manners, and professionalism, as well as leadership and responsibility. It takes a village to mold our youth into responsible citizens of the world.
IT. TAKES. A. VILLAGE.
We’re not supposed to hurt each other and put each other in these positions. We’re supposed to pick each other up and support one another. We’re supposed to see that this little girl is at the playground by herself, and introduce her to other little children, and instead of asking where her mother is and taking the law into your own hands… why not make sure she gets home safely? Let her mother know you made sure she got home safely and make a new friend. Create a village where you can depend on one another instead of create fear for parents everywhere.
STOP TAKING OUR RIGHTS AWAY TO PARENT OUR CHILDREN.
Parents… don’t forget where you came from. You were children once too. Understand that with today’s technology victims of kidnappings are more likely in favor to come back home. We get amber alerts sent directly to our phones. We have GPS on everything we buy our kids. It wasn’t like that when we were younger. We used to have to find out little Timmy went missing off of the back milk cartons… STOP HARRASSING OTHER PARENTS.
I really have so much more to say… so much more. But I’ll try to keep it brief.
It’s parents like this parent who called the police that are destroying America.
Yeah. I said it.
This is the type of mother side-eyeing you for giving your kid kool-aid. This is the father talking about you to his friend’s at the father meet-up because you get a little to into the children’s sports. These are the parents who are surprised you didn’t breastfeed, or are appalled you gave your kids shots, or feel sad for your kids cause they don’t have their own smart phone… these are the destroyers of society.
They talk down to you. They hover over their children at times they don’t need to, and then shove them in front of electronics at their convenience. They talk about you. They talk about your child. They talk about your parenting skills. And in their eyes, they’re better than you and have justification.
Meanwhile behind closed doors, that’s the kid telling his mother to shut-up. That’s the kid having a fit he can’t have his iPad right now spitting in mommy’s face. That’s the kid who gets to run all over their parents, slams doors, stomps feet, and is allowed to watch tv no more than 10 minutes later after a fierce session of “timeout.”
My older friends like to say, “babies having babies.” This is the generation of the privileged. And I think this is the ultimate cause of the downfall of society. And seriously… think about this… the younger they get… even YOU say the more privileged they feel they are. You can’t deny that you’ve every said that.
This was true in my Marine Corps… we used to say that the “Mother’s of America” were making our Corps soft. With all the rules and regulations that were getting put on generations of traditions, taking away the shine, for a lot of us, right out of the Corps. All because the younger generation of privileged kids were coming in complaining about how hard it was. Kinda like every kid getting a trophy now for participating.
In youth sports, we didn’t get trophies if you lost. Now there’s a trophy for everyone, and a ribbon for “the biggest supporter” in case your kid didn’t play. I’ve actually had to explain to a few parents why their child didn’t play… and after finding out that they were lazy at practice and weren’t acting like team players, I got a nice, “so what… every child should play, this isn’t the pro’s.”
Ahhhh THERE IT IS!!! I knew it’ll come to me… That’s how I’ll rap this up.
“…this isn’t the pro’s…”
That must be the mentality of parents like the parent who called the cops. If you ever played sport’s you may have heard your coach say practice how you’ll play on game day. Parenting is the same. Again–I’m no “expert” but I do know this… We need to raise our kids, how we will expect them to act as adults, which to go along with my simile, adulthood is game day. We need to understand that kids need to learn manners, and outside behavior, but also responsibility like walking to and from the park by themselves… and be ok. We need to give our children the tools for success, so that they can build upon the feeling of independence and trust. For me I couldn’t be out by myself unless I knew my address and telephone number. We need to understand that not every household is privileged to have two parents, two cars, grandparents, or other family in the area. Some people have parents working two jobs, and go to school just to put food on the table and pay rent, but dammit if their kid isn’t on the honor roll.
…Some kids are capable of doing what you think your kid isn’t.
I have been so upset about this all day. And I sincerely feel horrible that Miss Debra Harrell has to go through this… because… well… because it takes a village… and her village let her down.
Post to your own Blog here
Posted in Dissapointment, Parenthoodwith 18 comments.