Where did the time go?

There just aren’t enough hours in a day. So cliché. But shit man… there are simply not enough hours in a day, or let alone… days in a weekend. I thought about this greatly today as I finished the biggest portion of the painting of the baby’s nursery.  I pulled off the painters tape, I sat down on the stool that once held the paint bucket, and then I stared at all the small mistakes from the paint seeping under the small pockets of air in the tape that I was now going to have to take more time out of my life to fix… Why couldn’t it have just come out right the first time?  God knows I tried–and tried hard. But as I wasted, now, a second weekend in that slowly developing, painter’s nightmare of a nursery, I can’t begin to list the full checklist of the other obligations that I had to either irresponsibly push-off, or make a conscious decision to do at a later date.  For instance:  Fix my lawn mower. Last weekend my dogs thought it would be a good idea to chew through the pull cord on my lawn mower instead of play with the dozen(s) of toys they already have (or rip out more branches on my rose bushes like they usually do), so instead of moving forward with the plans I had of re-seeding the lawn and taking charge of my back yard again (something I could only do because I was… was ahead on my Continue Reading →


Posted in Dissapointment, Fear, Getting Readywith 12 comments.

11:11

So, for my Valentine’s Day post, I’d written a little ‘ode to fate,’ and while I believe it was fate that brought me to where I am today, I kinda wanted to touch on more coincidences on how I’m seeing things at the moment.  As the title of my blog clearly states, I am a Scared Dad.  Scared of the future, yet excited at the same time.  Scared of the unknown circumstances in my life.  Scared of making the wrong decisions… but most of all Scared of failing. *Disclaimer* This is all speculation, and not meant to end up putting me in a loony bin.  Also, there may be mention of God in here, but I promise you it’s not a blog post preaching the “word of the lord” I’m a huge believer in “everything happens for a reason.”  Also, the old wives quote, “for every door that closes, another one opens,” has been so prevalent in my life, that it’s hard for me not to believe there’s truth in it. For instance, I told the story about a big break up that ultimately led me to my wife, A Valentines Day Message: Fate.  In that post I’d mentioned some accidents in there that were supposed to have taken my life, but as God would have it, I walked away practically uninjured.  Like the time I was mountain biking down a hill at 26 mph (that’s 41.84 km/h for you metric folks reading), hit a hole, went flying off my bike, Continue Reading →


Posted in Fear, The Puzzle Piece, Those Odd moments...with 3 comments.

Honey, Have You Seen My Pregnancy Pants?

Yeah… Mine. Let’s face it.  The sympathy weight is no myth. As a 31 year old man, I am once again afraid to step on a scale.  I haven’t been scared to step on a scale since returning from 30 days of leave while I was in the Marine Corps.  I’ve always been on the heavy side (teetering on my max allowed weight in the Marine Corps), and even on the heavier side as a civilian, but I’ve never hit over 300 lbs. And that’s where I’m scared I’m at. GRANTED… I am 6’5″, so it’s not like I look like Black Santa… but I can definitely feel that I’ve put on some lbs. (How did we even get “lbs” from pounds?”  Just a question) I can feel it in my ankles.  I can feel it in my knees.  I can feel it the tightening of my pants and shorts, in the shortness of breath, in the tightness in my shirts.  And the fucked up part about it is, I KNOW I’VE PUT ON WEIGHT.  I don’t need to step on a scale to know this.  My tits look like my wife’s at this point.  So why haven’t I done anything about it? Seriously?  Why haven’t I? Well like any other person who vows to make a life change, I hit these barriers (which I’ve learned while  doing homework, is a legitimate psychological term) that always seem to just keep me just way too busy; things like cleaning up what Continue Reading →


Posted in Dissapointment, Fear, Getting Ready, Those Odd moments...with 10 comments.

Ugly Babies

Dear Lord, I am sorry for talking shit about ugly babies.  Please do not let karma catch up to me. -Every Parent Ever That’s right,  ONE OF my biggest fears… ever. Having an ugly baby. Now Hold Up!  Don’t go getting on your high horses and pedestals made of clouds– people, cause you’ve done it too.  You’ve looked at a baby, and maybe had thought there was a chromosome or two missing, and we’re not talking down syndrome, because down syndrome is real sad… We’re talking *U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi, you UGLY, yeah yeah you Ugly,* ugly.  I know you’ve looked at a pair a parents and under your breath you’ve stated the possibility and likeliness of them having a baby only Sloth would love (Goonies reference?Check).  C’mon, I KNOW you’ve had funny looking kids in your classes in elementary school; you know, the ones that used to get made fun of for having a less than symmetrical face, or a whiteboard-sized forehead. So don’t pretend like they’re not out there. I’ll say what you don’t want to say out loud.  I pray to God I don’t have an ugly baby. As I sit here and think about this, I brought it up to a friend who exclaimed almost instantly…”WHAT… MAN you can’t say that.  All babies are beautiful.”   Bullshit.   Most babies are cute.  The others are normal.  Few… well… lets just say, there’s a few that we know will have a rough time getting asked to Continue Reading →


Posted in Did He Really Just Say That?, Dissapointment, Fearwith 14 comments.

BFF’s Forever! …Right?

One of my favorite people in the world and his wife just popped out a brand new baby boy yesterday morning.  They waited till the birth to find out what the baby was, which made having a baby boy that much more special being that this was baby #2, but boy #1.  The night before, he had told me there was a hold on people coming into the hospital because apparently six people had died from the flu, so visitation was limited.  I felt hurt, not because I couldn’t see the baby right away… but that I couldn’t be there for him to run into the delivery waiting room so he could scream IT’S A BOY while handing out the cigars (which I’m sure he’ll pick up after reading this) to the any one willing to take one. I am… a sentimental type of guy. I buy into shit like that.  I buy into the surprise parties, and the sending people flowers.  I buy into the family photos coming in the mail, and weekend BBQ’s.  I buy into the phone calls about the first words, or seeing the mothers day drawings that the kids made in school this week… I still buy into the living that portion of the American dream that you would see if a Norman Rockwell painting came to life.  So when I tell you I really felt bad for not being there for him, I sincerely mean that it ate at me… cause that is my Continue Reading →


Posted in Dissapointment, Fear, Those Odd moments...with no comments yet.

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