To Baby Proof or Not to Proof… That is the Question?

I get that I like to be prepared for things, however my wife may have made a great point to me yesterday.

I like being ahead of schedule, for the pure fact that if anything goes wrong, I can correct it.  If I know how something is working, I can make the proper adjustments, perfect it, and move forward. Robert, what the hell are you talking about?  I’m getting there… hold up…

Baby X will be here May 11th (ish)… that means in about 4 months the baby will be coming to his home, and starting to take over what used to be ours, and making it his.  So my thought is, I need to start Baby Proofing the house… right?

It makes sense to me… install all the latches, and door knobs, and bumpers, and wall outlets, and gates, and whatever else I threw in the cart.  Install it now so we can get used to it, so that when we’re hands full with the precious baby, we won’t have to fidget with trying to open anything cause we’ll know it like second nature.

And then my wife goes and throws a wrench in my plan with a perfectly valid argument.

“Can we please just enjoy the doors and drawers how they are now, and hold off from doing it until we absolutely must?”

She goes on to say how we will be “using the baby proof-ed stuff for years upon years on end, so can we pleasePLEASE, just enjoy the house the way it is now… baby proof-less?  We will get used to all that stuff eventually… plus the baby isn’t going to be crawling immediately, the house won’t have to be necessarily baby proofed for at least 2 months after the birth.”

I have to say, she immediately won my vote for “greatest point made in an argument ever,” and I have to admit; why would I subject myself to having to open up cupboards and drawers by blindly finding the little push tab that no matter how many times you’ve opened them, it still surprisingly catches the strong, non-budging pieces of wood that protects the inside of the cupboard that contains what you need immediately with no struggle … Why would I want to do that right now?

Why would I want to almost piss myself by fumbling with the bathroom doorknob in the middle of the night, a whole 4 months before I’m forced into that seemingly un-openable lifestyle?  Because I’m trying to prepare myself… ? It’s going to happen regardless of if I’m used to it or not.

Why would I force the stress upon us now, in this baby free zone, when we can enjoy about another half year of living without it!?!?  Cause let’s face it, when that latch abruptly stops and ruins your flow, a piece of you dies each time.

“Hey babe you want something to…Ugnhh… fucking safety latch”

That would be me once a week… That  immediate shock and disappointment makes you feel like the biggest failure sometimes… “I failed at opening this child safety latch;”  and truthfully… I can live without that feeling for another 4-6 months.

The OCD along with my need to control the situation is pretty mad at me for letting this one go, but my wife and my lack of temper from the frustration of not being able to get a spoon for my ice cream on the first try, will thank me for the next 6 months.


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Posted in Getting Readywith 8 comments.


  • Funny read!!

    We tried baby-proofing beforehand, but to be honest we didn’t really have a clue about what needed to be done. Ironically, it turns out that now we’re always a step behind as there’s a continual process of baby / toddler proofing as our children grow up and literally show us what we need to be baby proofing. By which I mean…should have already baby proofed!

    • Ha Paul! I was always told to start from the ground up. As ridiculous as it sounds, literally crawl on the ground to see what a baby could possibly get into. So far I have the basics… the electric outlet covers, the corner bumpers, the cabinet latches… there’s nothing I can do about the dog hair though…

      Thanks for reading!


  • Maria says:

    Relax!! If my husband was half as scared as you are; we wouldve been twice as prepared! And prepared we were NOT. Our daughter was born a month early! No crib, no car seat, definately no safety latches on anything! My husband had football tix so promptly after birth he took off with the ‘boys’ because the tickets were bought and paid for! They all visited after the ritual peeler bar after the game stop with the exciting news that the headliner stripper had the same name as my precious newborn. Even brought the poster to show me! Exciting indeed! 3 years later a son was born, hubby celebrated with friends again. Why wouldnt he? Cant smoke cubans in the hospital like the old days! He was happy with his family; a daughter, a son, he was done. Family accomplished. Being dutch, i was not done. After incessant whining :) he relented with ‘do what you want but if it happens I’m not helping, it’s yours. Done! I briefly thought I’d miss his help. (Sarcasm). The day my water broke hubby had Motley Crue tix. Our second son is 15 in 2 months and H still hasnt forgiven ‘us’ for making him miss the concert. We will be married 23 years next month and life is good. You will look back and laugh at what you deem so important now for nothing protects your children more or prepares them for this world more than the unconditional love of a father! (Mom’s love is a given!). Marie

    • Marie!

      What a freaking fantastic story! haha… How DARE you make him miss that Motley Crue concert… I’m sure he dreams about what their “Girls, girls, girls” set would’ve looked like.

      Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the pick me up! I’m sure I’ll be ok, because when I was born, I don’t even think baby-proofing was a thing… and I turned out fine.


    • Eric says:

      Just came across your blog randomly. Do you have dates on your posts? Just curious how recent this stuff is or if your baby has come yet.

  • Megan says:

    I only have one of those annoying door things- and it’s to the basement door because of the stairs. She is 2 1/2 and still doesnt know how to turn the handle. You have lots of time with that one.

    Also, we didn’t baby proof til we bought our house when V was like 7 months old. She wasn’t crawling til 6 months.

    Every time I vacuum and have to take a butter knife out of the drawer to pry the freaking plastic covering off the outlet, I want to stab something. And I laugh at the irony that the only way to get it off, is to pry it with something metallic.

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