The Scared DadA Journey of a First Time Father

Jan 20th The Baby Names Game

When my best friend and his wife were going through names, I was shooting them down with why they couldn’t name their daughter that.

“Kids are so cruel guys… she’s going to come home crying saying ‘they called me Smelly Ellie…’”

But her name is perfect for her.  She is so pretty, and her name matches her whole character.  My friend and I will just have to go make those little shitheads that make her cry, cry themselves if that happens.  Three years and some change later, Paps and I are doing the same thing.

Playing the name game

For the life of us, we cannot settle on a name.  She’ll like one name and it’ll remind me of someone I wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire.  I’ll like one name… it’s too biblical (which is not my intent).  I’m probably making it even harder because I’ll like a name at first and she thinks we’re golden, and I’ll completely change my mind a week later.

For instance, Bo.  Sure I like Bo.  But Bo’s first vehicle that daddy is going to have to teach him to drive is a John Deer tractor trailer. Or GAYvin.  Oh I’m sorry…  I meant Gavin.  I can pretty much find something wrong with most of them.

When we were talking girl names, she likes Autumn.  I liked Autumn.  Hell, I know a few Autumns.  Then I talked myself out of it saying it was too gloomy…  Then I really talked myself out of it once I talked myself into it being a stripper name.  (No offense to any of you Autumns out there).

Then you have the “you should name him” people.  People I’ve never met throwing names out like CarRamRod jokingly (which is fine), or the seriously throwing out names like “Ezekiel, that’s a great name”….…………. how do I make that blank stare emoticon face on here?

There’s the thought of naming him Robert, but there’s some mental backlash on that.  Here’s the story.  I was born with my mother’s last name, however my father’s name was Robert, except I didn’t have his last name.  Pap’s dad is also named Robert.  So That would mean both his grandpa’s are named Robert, his dad would be named Robert, and he wouldn’t technically be a Robert III, he’d be a Jr. even though he’d literally be a III.  So Robert is going to be the middle name.  And that much we can decide on.

Apparently I have a criteria too that doesn’t help.  Ok.  I actually do have a criteria.  And it’s simply, the name of my son must be the name of someone who will be taken seriously in his adult years.A strong name. The name of a future CEO or something… even though he may end up being a ballerina or wood widdler.

I even made a playoff bracket of some of my favorites from the collaboration of our choices.

This is an ongoing thing, so needless to say we haven’t picked a name yet.

And just to be clear… even though I can’t put it on my bracket… I really like Jacob.

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