So one of the names I’ve been contemplating calling my unborn child is 401k. For those of you who don’t know what a 401k is I’m sorry… AND it’s also a retirement plan. Why would I name my kid 401k you ask… well it’s simple. I’m 6’5”, his mother is 5’10” and we’re both (were both) highly athletic. His grandfather is 6’4”/6’5”ish and in fact the rest of the family that’s not my wife is 6’ or above (all girls by the way)… I’ve played sports all my life. I’m talking competitively I’ve played Tee-Ball, baseball, basketball, football, volleyball, pick-up games of soccer, adult league softball, a little golf, and try to still get into volleyball tournaments… oh and I can swim (which is a big thing for “African Americans” apparently) … I all around just love playing sports. Paps, the wife, went to college on a full ride division 1 volleyball scholarship, grew up around and played softball, basketball, and can throw a spiral. We’re tall, I’m big, we’re a sports family. It’s the perfect equation. Now before I get all the hate hate hate mail explaining that I shouldn’t push sports onto my kid–I completely agree with you 1000%. Baseball was pushed onto me, and I HATE baseball. I can’t stand watching it on TV, and I tolerate watching it live. I like playing still, but it’s still too slow of a game. That being said, I played a lot of sports before I found my passion in volleyball. I mean, I’ll Continue Reading →
Posted in Did He Really Just Say That?, Getting Readywith 3 comments.
“Wait till you have a kid…” I swear to Buddha let me hear you say that one more mother effing time… I GET IT. THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE!!!! I. GET. IT. One of the most annoying things so far during the time of expecting a baby, is the plethora of people who feel the need to remind me that “things are going to change in the most astronomically insane way possible… That not only are they going to change… I can’t explain it so just WAIT till when you have a child.” Wait till you have to wake up every hour on the hour. Wait till you are a zombie at work. Wait till you can’t go to the movies ever again for the rest of your life. Wait till you don’t have “good clothes” anymore. WAIT TILL YOU HAVE A KID… Just Wait. Well I have one for you… YOU wait. Wait, so you can laugh at me for not knowing what to do at all times because it’s my first kid. (I get it. This will happen.) Wait till I’m struggling to open the door with the baby in one hand and the dogs, food, groceries in the other, while my sig other stands there not opening the door cause she’s thinking about her own issues at the moment… (That’s going to happen too) Wait till I come to work exhausted, because the baby couldn’t and wouldn’t got to sleep cause he’s sick or colicky… (I get Continue Reading →
Posted in Did He Really Just Say That?, Getting Ready, Those Odd moments...with 14 comments.
So, for my Valentine’s Day post, I’d written a little ‘ode to fate,’ and while I believe it was fate that brought me to where I am today, I kinda wanted to touch on more coincidences on how I’m seeing things at the moment. As the title of my blog clearly states, I am a Scared Dad. Scared of the future, yet excited at the same time. Scared of the unknown circumstances in my life. Scared of making the wrong decisions… but most of all Scared of failing. *Disclaimer* This is all speculation, and not meant to end up putting me in a loony bin. Also, there may be mention of God in here, but I promise you it’s not a blog post preaching the “word of the lord” I’m a huge believer in “everything happens for a reason.” Also, the old wives quote, “for every door that closes, another one opens,” has been so prevalent in my life, that it’s hard for me not to believe there’s truth in it. For instance, I told the story about a big break up that ultimately led me to my wife, A Valentines Day Message: Fate. In that post I’d mentioned some accidents in there that were supposed to have taken my life, but as God would have it, I walked away practically uninjured. Like the time I was mountain biking down a hill at 26 mph (that’s 41.84 km/h for you metric folks reading), hit a hole, went flying off my bike, Continue Reading →
Posted in Fear, The Puzzle Piece, Those Odd moments...with 3 comments.
Yeah… Mine. Let’s face it. The sympathy weight is no myth. As a 31 year old man, I am once again afraid to step on a scale. I haven’t been scared to step on a scale since returning from 30 days of leave while I was in the Marine Corps. I’ve always been on the heavy side (teetering on my max allowed weight in the Marine Corps), and even on the heavier side as a civilian, but I’ve never hit over 300 lbs. And that’s where I’m scared I’m at. GRANTED… I am 6’5″, so it’s not like I look like Black Santa… but I can definitely feel that I’ve put on some lbs. (How did we even get “lbs” from pounds?” Just a question) I can feel it in my ankles. I can feel it in my knees. I can feel it the tightening of my pants and shorts, in the shortness of breath, in the tightness in my shirts. And the fucked up part about it is, I KNOW I’VE PUT ON WEIGHT. I don’t need to step on a scale to know this. My tits look like my wife’s at this point. So why haven’t I done anything about it? Seriously? Why haven’t I? Well like any other person who vows to make a life change, I hit these barriers (which I’ve learned while doing homework, is a legitimate psychological term) that always seem to just keep me just way too busy; things like cleaning up what Continue Reading →
Posted in Dissapointment, Fear, Getting Ready, Those Odd moments...with 10 comments.
To my wife, If someone told me 5 years ago, that fate was real, I would’ve laughed in their face. If someone told me that there was a chance for me to be a better man than I was being 5 years ago, I would’ve hoped they were telling the truth, and probably had continued on the destructive path I was on. If someone told me 5 years ago that I would be happy… Paps… fate is a motherfucker. It’s an amazing– amazing sonofabitch. This is how wonderful fate is. I was in a broken relationship that was doomed from the start. So fate brought me to my knees (figuratively and literally), and became the reason I had to leave the Marine Corps. As much as I loved being a Marine, my time had come, and fate had me depart. Fate took me away from that destructive relationship that I had been the virus of, and brought me home… to clear my head… to separate from that life… and fate brought me to you. Fate gave us a story. One that makes other people laugh, and one that will always make us smile. A “holler” brought you to me, and associates from a decade ago, became friends, who in turn became lovers. But not without work. Fate happened to deal all the cards exactly the way they needed to be dealt, with impeccable timing. Because fate had a plan. When I was down, you brought me up. When I was Continue Reading →
Posted in The Puzzle Piecewith 5 comments.