BFF’s Forever! …Right?

One of my favorite people in the world and his wife just popped out a brand new baby boy yesterday morning.  They waited till the birth to find out what the baby was, which made having a baby boy that much more special being that this was baby #2, but boy #1.  The night before, he had told me there was a hold on people coming into the hospital because apparently six people had died from the flu, so visitation was limited.  I felt hurt, not because I couldn’t see the baby right away… but that I couldn’t be there for him to run into the delivery waiting room so he could scream IT’S A BOY while handing out the cigars (which I’m sure he’ll pick up after reading this) to the any one willing to take one. I am… a sentimental type of guy. I buy into shit like that.  I buy into the surprise parties, and the sending people flowers.  I buy into the family photos coming in the mail, and weekend BBQ’s.  I buy into the phone calls about the first words, or seeing the mothers day drawings that the kids made in school this week… I still buy into the living that portion of the American dream that you would see if a Norman Rockwell painting came to life.  So when I tell you I really felt bad for not being there for him, I sincerely mean that it ate at me… cause that is my Continue Reading →

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To Baby Proof or Not to Proof… That is the Question?

I get that I like to be prepared for things, however my wife may have made a great point to me yesterday. I like being ahead of schedule, for the pure fact that if anything goes wrong, I can correct it.  If I know how something is working, I can make the proper adjustments, perfect it, and move forward. Robert, what the hell are you talking about?  I’m getting there… hold up… Baby X will be here May 11th (ish)… that means in about 4 months the baby will be coming to his home, and starting to take over what used to be ours, and making it his.  So my thought is, I need to start Baby Proofing the house… right? It makes sense to me… install all the latches, and door knobs, and bumpers, and wall outlets, and gates, and whatever else I threw in the cart.  Install it now so we can get used to it, so that when we’re hands full with the precious baby, we won’t have to fidget with trying to open anything cause we’ll know it like second nature. And then my wife goes and throws a wrench in my plan with a perfectly valid argument. “Can we please just enjoy the doors and drawers how they are now, and hold off from doing it until we absolutely must?” She goes on to say how we will be “using the baby proof-ed stuff for years upon years on end, so can we please… PLEASE, Continue Reading →

Posted in Getting Readywith 8 comments.

Creating the Baby Registry

  Dear Expecting Parents, Brace Yourself. Sincerely, Robert   May I say, HOLY SHIT to the prices of the baby items that we deem mandatory, necessary, or even just a “believe me–this is a must need for the parents’ sanity!!!”  I’ll back up before I keep ranting. Sunday, which happened to be the the NFC and AFC Divisional Championship playoff games (that I missed because of lack of coherent-ness due to a full day of traveling across the globe to get home the day before), my wife and I decided to go create our baby registry.  Great!  I’m down, so 1) we can get it out of the way, and 2) spend some hubby/wife QT (that I already understand that I’ll miss when Baby X comes into the world).  And so this was the start of the longest day ever. Now, granted the Packers are already out of the playoffs, so I sincerely can care less who makes it to the big dance (except Denver… I called them to be in it from week 1), however I have a thing that if my team gets beat, then the team that took my team out needs to win so our loss is vindicated.  But I hate the 49er’s and I hate Pete Carroll, so there’s that. Back to baby registering. So the decision was to go to Babies R’ Us.  Why wouldn’t you? BABY is in the name.  It was already near 12, and Paps had seen ‘Islands’ and asked if we could Continue Reading →

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The Taboo of Labor Complications

“One day you’re going to wish you could still hug me.” My wife playfully said this to me the other day, however it pierced right through me like a hot knife on cold, hard, butter. I mean, immediately as she said it I envisioned the pain of not having her around forever in my life. I actually can’t put into words how sad I literally got for the brief moment before I asked, “Why would you say that?” The truth is, that this pregnancy has actually had me on edge. Every ache, every pain, every new symptom that my wife describes, becomes my reality and it makes me constantly worry if everything is ok. The newest one is that her pelvic area is extremely painful, and that she said she’d seen the symptom on the What to Expect mobile app in this week’s “Common Symptoms” area. The culprit could be SPD, otherwise known as Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, which is a $1000 term for “stretched ligaments that normally keep your pelvic joint aligned…” yada yada yada “causing pain…” blah blah blah… “if pain is severe, ask your practitioner.” Well here’s the thing; I will usually downplay everything and joke around, but if I see her in some real pain, I melt. And this time, she had tears coming out. I need to figure out why this is happening right now. Are you in pain? Where does it hurt? How long has it hurt? What’s it feel like? Do we need to go Continue Reading →

Posted in Dissapointment, Fearwith 2 comments.

The Baby Names Game

When my best friend and his wife were going through names, I was shooting them down with why they couldn’t name their daughter that. “Kids are so cruel guys… she’s going to come home crying saying ‘they called me Smelly Ellie…’” But her name is perfect for her.  She is so pretty, and her name matches her whole character.  My friend and I will just have to go make those little shitheads that make her cry, cry themselves if that happens.  Three years and some change later, Paps and I are doing the same thing. Playing the name game For the life of us, we cannot settle on a name.  She’ll like one name and it’ll remind me of someone I wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire.  I’ll like one name… it’s too biblical (which is not my intent).  I’m probably making it even harder because I’ll like a name at first and she thinks we’re golden, and I’ll completely change my mind a week later. For instance, Bo.  Sure I like Bo.  But Bo’s first vehicle that daddy is going to have to teach him to drive is a John Deer tractor trailer. Or GAYvin.  Oh I’m sorry…  I meant Gavin.  I can pretty much find something wrong with most of them. When we were talking girl names, she likes Autumn.  I liked Autumn.  Hell, I know a few Autumns.  Then I talked myself out of it saying it was too gloomy…  Then I really talked myself Continue Reading →

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